For verily I say unto you, that whosoever shall say unto this mountain, ‘Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea,’ and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass, he shall have whatsoever he saith. – Mark 11:23
There is no overnight strategy out there that will show you how to break the habit of yelling. It took me three years to break the hold the habit had on me. I consistently yelled when angry or frustrated even when my husband and I were dating. This went on up until shortly after my fourth child was in elementary. It was normal to me.
But it made me feel like scum when I’d see what it was doing to my family. I’d made up in my mind that didn’t want to be her anymore, that mom wife and mom who yelled. The one who was always out for control. I needed to know why I was so easily agitated.
God took me on a journey that changed my life. I share how I went from being an unhappy wife and mom to being so full of peace.
I don’t mind sharing my story with you because at the end of the day I want you to understand you aren’t alone. Plenty of women struggle in this area even if they never tell you.
One of the strategies for healing is transparency. Being transparent about my struggle took away the pride and shame associated with the way I handled frustration.
The devil would love for us to cower in shame or hide behind pride. He wants us to justify our actions or feel so ashamed that we don’t let people help.
My biggest support in the process has been my husband and children. When I confessed my struggle and talked to them about my plan for becoming more like the wife and mom I read about in the Bible, they were supportive through the process.
If nothing else, I want you to know that I’m here for you and I support you. I know what it’s like to go completely bizerk on your kids for doing something childish and then feel guilty about it. I know what it’s like to argue with your husband and say things that push you farther and farther apart.
Many of you have emailed me and commented about wanting to change. Just know that I’m praying for you and that you can break the cycle of destructive communication.
I don’t know who needed to read this today, but I pray it’s given you the hope necessary to take steps to change and begin the healing process for your family.
I’ve included a fun video of “The Conversation” where couples discuss their struggle with this topic as well as solutions.